SGTJOE

Utah

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I can't be the only one with this problem, but my Cookie (Shih Tzu) gets a little upset if I hug the wife. When I hug Angie Cookie will start pawing at my legs, if I don't give her attention she will start barking from a low yelp to full out loud barking. She is closer to me.
We had a little ankle bitter I called Cockroach who would actually attack me if I showed any affection to the wife, so this isn't the first time we have seen this. The chihuahua was the wifes dog.
Is this normal or did we go wrong somewhere in their upbringing?
Seems to be a female dog thing, our males have never done this.
Anyone else with the same experiance??
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Trailer Trash 2

Santa Fe Springs, CA

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How about cookie wanting to be the alfa dog in your home, you and your wife will have to show her or him who is the Alfa male and Female, and not the dog. this usually works as seen on TV Ceaser Malone Dog Wisperer he holds them down on there back and does not let them up untill the submit the wife should do that to, it does not hurt the pet it does show who is the boss.
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Birddogman

Pennsylvania

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This is no different than any other dog training/behavior issue. If you are the alpha dog in the pack, the other pack members will not do anything they know will displease you (obviously, they need to know what is OK and what is not). If you are not the alpha dog, the other pack members will do as they please – and they will exert their dominance over you. Barking at you, pawing your legs for attention and certainly biting (!!!) are all behaviors that indicate you are anything but alpha (unless the dog doesn’t understand that you don’t like this sort of thing, but that seems very unlikely) in your pack.
The cure is, theoretically at least, very simple. Establish yourself as alpha and let it be known that this sort of behavior is unacceptable to you (the dog probably already knows that).
There are many ways to do establish dominance, as I’m sure you know. Just by way of one example, when the dog starts to claw at you, instantly give a firm, clear “no”, roll the dog over on its back, pin it down with your forearm across its throat so it can’t move while you firmly say “no” several more times down its nose. Make sure you are not choking the dog, of course – the idea is dominance not harm of any kind. Don’t move your arm until the dog completely stops struggling, crying or whatever and goes limp. Then slowly move your arm off the dog’s throat, but put it right back if the dog tries to get up or even twitches before you give whatever your release command may be. You should be able to remove your arm and the dog should lay there, limp on its back, quiet, totally vulnerable, until you tell it to flip over and get up. You know you are getting somewhere when this happens. This doesn’t cause the dog any harm and is very effective.
It is, however, ugly to watch the first few times as the dog struggles and cries. It can therefore be tricky in a political sense if the dog involved is your wife’s dog and if your wife is not inclined to allow you to establish dominance. In that case, I guess you just need to live with the behavior problems (or establish dominance over your wife – good luck with that ).
An additional thought. My wife is not alpha to my hard-as-nails hunting dogs and I am not alpha to her four pound Maltese yipper. But, my dogs have learned that if they don’t instantly obey her commands (for example “Off!” if they are bugging her), I will instantly back her. Therefore, they have learned that they need to obey her, even though she is not alpha to them.
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calvinator

Cleveland, Ohio

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In the dog's mind, the pack order is:
1) wife
2) dog
3) you
To the dog, you hugging the wife is a challenge to the pack leader. The dog is higher than you and it is his job to protect the pack leader.
No human can be lower than the dog, otherwise the human will experience "bad dog behavior". But really, the dog is doing his job -- controlling the pack.
To change the order, you need to show dominance over the dog. Some easy ways:
a) GENTLY, put dog on his back and put your hand on his throat.
b) make dog sit, then feed the dog, halfway through the food, take it away, make dog sit, and then give food back. Also, pretend to eat the dog's food too.
c) make the dog sit and stay before you give a pet, let outside, go through doorways, etc. Do this alot.
d) if you walk the dog, the dog can not walk in front of you (they think they lead you....) Only beside, or preferrably one step behind.
e) When you are walking around the house and the dog is in your presence, nudge them with your foot.
Do this for two weeks and then the pack will be:
1) you
2) wife
3) dog
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AZPops

Wherever the Job takes us...

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I’m no help with the psychological stuff, but just feel blessed that Cookie isn’t a Newfoundland…
Pops
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arizonadesertbrat

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Our Aussie has always gotten between us if DH hugs or kisses me. She will even get up on the bed and squeeze in between us and lay on her back with her feet in the air. While I feed her and give her treats, she is is DH's puppy.
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Code2High

Ridgecrest, CA

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I'm not a fan of having people alpha roll their dogs. I'm not saying I haven't done it, or won't again, but in the hands of someone without a lot of experience, it can become a bad situation in which a person gets bitten, and that's not good for the people or the dog. And for most problems, there are less risky ways to be successful. Also, you do get into the political issues. NILIF is much less risky, less controversial, but still effective.
This isn't a case of "the dog loves the wife and won't let the husband near the wife" it is a case where the dog is jealous of the wife getting attention. Basically, Joe, your dog thinks you're married to HER. Just a wild guess, but your wife runs the household while you take care of the dogs?
Regardless.... First things first, stop reinforcing the behavior. She must NEVER get any attention when she demands it while you're interacting with your wife. She should not be allowed to demand attention anyway, this is her running your life and asserting dominance over you. Subordinates do not demand.
Next, correct for unwanted behavior. When she starts this, you give her a firm "NO" and send her off, then go back to what you're doing. If she does not obey when sent away, step into her and force her away. If that doesn't work, then you have some serious work to do, because she really has no respect.
Finally, you and the wife need to earn that respect by acting like pack leaders. I realize that you're "small dog owners" and this is not going to come easily, but it is important for the health of your family and your dogs that you do so. The least confrontational way to do this is with Nothing In Life Is Free. Google it, I'm sure you'll find a list of instructions. The basic concept is that the dog has to do something for you for everything the dog gets. This puts you in charge in the dog's mind. If you normally feed the dogs, also consider having your wife hand them their food for a while or part of the time. This will add to her clout.
In addition to that, you need to watch what you're doing on walks. If your habit is to let the dogs "walk you" then you need to stop. If you have a flexi-lead, lose it. Your dogs need to be beside you or behind you. leashes loose except when you're correcting. If you have a habit of letting your dogs stop when they want to, lose that, too. Its a walk, not a sniff, and you pick the stops. This sends a message.
I'm sure this sounds like a very unattractive approach to someone with a pair of lap dogs. And if you aren't that motivated, you won't do it. I wouldn't be surprised to hear "it isn't that big a problem for me" from you. But as time goes on and your dogs mature and other behavioral issues develop, you may wish to reconsider it.
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SGTJOE

Utah

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I kinda thought your answers were going to be as received. Cookie does demand attention, but when she sits on her back haunches and does a cross pawing in the air it is cute it melts your heart. When we go for walks she is always behind or beside me. The little male shih Tzu is always pulling the leash. I'll work on him one on one in Yuma in Jan. He always minds. Cookie seems to mind when she wants, so I'm thinking you all are right. I'll try the pinning and see where it goes. I'll try a few of the other suggestions also. Maybe this will improve her relationship with our one cat she constantly goes after, not to hurt but just to chase.
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CA POPPY

Santa Clarita, CA, USA

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Cesar has addressed that problem several times on his Dog Whisperer show, usually featuring little lap dogs fiercely guarding one person or another in the family. Invariably, it was shown that the behavior was being reinforced, possibly subconsciously, by the protectee. A lot of people think it's cute, but it sure isn't, and is bound to make bigger problems, sooner or later.
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4*phun*2

Canada

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I cannot believe that people put up with this from an animal.
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