Motivating the DW

[deleted-2]

Had a question about hitting the trail this season.

I was wondering if anyone had a partner that seemed to have lost the spark.

Since retiring the wife is happy on the couch with her notebook gaming with the Farmville etc... thing.

I seem to be having a rough time convincing the wife to hook up and go.

Not sure if she is wanting to be close to town, getting less and less tolerant of crowds or fearful of traveling too far out and away.
I'm kind of thinking she may be a bit scared of the size 5ver we have now...me is wanting to see how really limited we are in them NFS campsites.

Really thought I was the worry wart problem child, yet I'm itching to get going in spite of...

We were always the adventurous type and could face anything together.
...any thoughts?

[BurbMan]

DianneOK wrote:
Why don't you ask her what the problem is ?

Hahahahahahahahahaha

OMG I'm crying!!!!! Obviously you are not married....LOL!

[Deb_and_Ed_M]

I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here:

"Let's go camping" can also mean:
Check the levels of supplies in the RV
Plan efficient meals due to limited kitchen space and refrigerator storage
Shop to refill supplies; plus groceries
Pre-make some meals
Plan and pack the wardrobe
Put the paper and the mail on hold
Arrange for yard maintenance
Get the house ready for an absence (like take out trash/toss any food that will spoil)
Load the RV with supplies/food/drinks/clothes
Don't forget the food and supplies for the pets
Add items like camera/binoculars/GPS/sports gear that don't remain in the RV
Check freshwater levels, tire pressure, etc
Arrive at RV park; hook up; and set up camp
Cook a meal; serve it; hand wash and dry dishes
Ok, you want a snack??
On and on and on it goes.......

Basically, the wife gets to do the same stuff she always does at home, only with fewer or cruder appliances/conveniences; more mosquitoes and dirt; less privacy. The getaway *could* be marred by bad neighbors/lousy weather/possibly no TV or cell phone reception; traffic jams; or God Forbid - a breakdown of the RV.

If I didn't LOVE sightseeing and being someplace "new" so much - I could get pretty jaded about the whole process, too. I've always said it takes me a week to get ready to go away for 10 days; and a half-week afterward to clean and put everything away for the next trip.

I know there are husbands out there who do their share, or more. But to the OP - what's the "up side" for your wife?

On edit: I hadn't read 2gypsies' post - oops. But maybe that idea needs to be said twice 😉

[2gypsies1]

Could it be that she's seeing her retirement as more work than play? Does she have to do the planning, shopping, packing, cooking, laundry, cleaning, unpacking, cleaning? Also, we love national forest campgrounds as you do, but perhaps she has different ideas of maybe being closer to a city or main attraction to her. Suggest mixing it up with her choice one time and your choice the next. RVing is all about sharing the load. Hope something works for you!!

[FunnyCamper]

Thats_Ok wrote:
OP here...

Thanx everyone for all the replies and input.

I have asked if there were any fears or problems.
One worry was she has been on the diabetes regiment for some time.
That limits a few things and puts risk closer at hand.

DW noted that going out is fine if I can take the lead.
Scheduling is up to me...

So I will bring the trailer home day after tomorrow and ready things.
Making a reservation at a spot about 100 miles East of here for 3 nites.

she will get more comfortable with the medical situation. she just has to be a bit more on her toes about control.

Since you are taking the lead, go for it. book fun trips and she will go and enjoy.


You know, I kinda know what she means. I take the lead on scheduling trips, packing for it, getting every single duck in a row to hit the road. hubby works hard so while he is off making the bucks, I do the legwork for everything.

it gets old 🙂 so maybe since you guys retired she just wants to stop. stop doing a ton of things. relax on the couch. just not move for a while. retirement, while sure should be active and fun, sometimes it is nice to just stop and not have any commitments. time to relax, regroup, re-energize without having to 'do' anything.

ENJOY THAT TRIP!!!!!

[sowego]

I don't think you should try to "motivate" her to go somewhere...Just talk to her! In the course of a reasonable conversation you should learn the truth. If you two have a great relationship it should be easy to come to a reasonable solution to whatever is going on.

After you know all of that...you will have to decide what options are best for both of you.

[wbwood]

Chock Full o' Nuts wrote:

NanciL wrote:
Holy cow !
I say " what do you think, want to head out with the TT next week for a weekend trip", and she is packing the trailer.

Maybe you need to start calling it your "Love nest" --Works for us!

Jack L

:B Since we got the kids out of the nest (mostly) our TT has turned into the Love Shack. We just got back from a week in the mountains and both of us were sad--we're ready to go again! DH wants to go to Destin for July 4th week--Hah! I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen, but perhaps I can find us some place a little less touristy along the way down there. Some place....quiet...and private...:C

Well lucky for you, Destin will probably be full that week... 🙂

[Jim_Shoe]

A couple of thoughts based on my folks travels after retirement. They started with a TT, and my Mom constantly feared that the trailer was going to come loose. Not rational, but a fear nevertheless. When they swapped for a 'C', my Mom felt like she had some room to move around, and my Dad helped with the cleaning and cooking so that she felt like she was on 'vacation' too.

[aussie1]

Or maybe she is just tired. After I retired just the luxury of being able to do nothing was absolute bliss!!! Not having to dash off to work at 6.30am and getting home at 7.00pm to gulp down a meal, spend my weekends doing the laundry, cleaning, gardening, etc. The idea of being able to do nothing was wonderful. It didn't last long though and now I wonder how I ever found time to work I have so many other things to do!
Cheers

[coolbreeze01]

NanciL wrote:

coolbreeze01 wrote:
Normal for couples that have been together for a long time. Do you do anything fun while camping? I could name some activities, but there are so many, and maybe she would rather just read a book? What's wrong with that?

If that is "normal for couples who have been together a long time", then my wife and I must be completely abnormal.
I love being with her or near her all the time, and she feels the same. -It will be 55 years next month.
We hike together, bike together, and canoe and kayak together.
When she is on the sofa knitting I am on the sofa beside her either reading or watching TV.
When I am in the shop, she is right out side it weeding her beautiful flower garden.
When we go grocery shopping, I am the buggy pusher

Jack L

:B OK...........

[Chock_Full_o__N]

NanciL wrote:
Holy cow !
I say " what do you think, want to head out with the TT next week for a weekend trip", and she is packing the trailer.

Maybe you need to start calling it your "Love nest" --Works for us!

Jack L

:B Since we got the kids out of the nest (mostly) our TT has turned into the Love Shack. We just got back from a week in the mountains and both of us were sad--we're ready to go again! DH wants to go to Destin for July 4th week--Hah! I'm pretty sure that's not gonna happen, but perhaps I can find us some place a little less touristy along the way down there. Some place....quiet...and private...:C

[garyhaupt]

Opie431 wrote:
I have a bookcase in our TT almost five feet high. Two Rubbermaid boxes of books go with us. Some are his but most are mine. It rides on its back on a bunk when we travel.
I have more time to read when we are camping than I do at home. And yes we go on long hikes together so I am not just sitting around reading.

Have you considered a Kindle or other E reader? Up until a month ago..I too had books on board. And I still have a few treasures, but by and large? gone. The newer readers ones have a backlight too, so a person can read by the fire or in bed without the overhead on. It has increased my camping enjoyment. They are pretty cool..and don't weigh nearly what that bookcase does.


Gary Haupt

[Opie431]

I have a bookcase in our TT almost five feet high. Two Rubbermaid boxes of books go with us. Some are his but most are mine. It rides on its back on a bunk when we travel.
I have more time to read when we are camping than I do at home. And yes we go on long hikes together so I am not just sitting around reading.

[doxiemom11]

Go to Millenicom.com and order an aircard. This will give you mobile internet and she can do farmville almost anywhere. I wouldn't want to travel without internet either. Just a sign of the times. And Farmville is addicting.....former 2 year player. Finally gave it up because I was spending so much time doing it. I'm still on the computer a lot, just reading more forums now.

[wbwood]

Take her to an rv dealer and see if she likes other type of units better. I know with the tt we had that my wife enjoyed our trips, but she didn't enjoy the preparing and worrying bout the big trailer behind the camper. She was never one to be jumping at the bits to go somewhere and to mention dry camping. Shut our mouth!

But now with the motorhome sitting in the driveway, she loves it and looks or ward to going. Preparing is a lot easier and she doesn't worry about a trailer behind us or feel closed in one spot during the trip. And she is even talking and looking forward to dry camping.