My poor mom!--long

[Chock_Full_o__N]

My mother is 80 yrs old and still tows her little camper by herself, with her big dog for company. She has had several bad experiences this year, mostly regarding her increasing knee pain.

It finally got so bad that she had a knee replacement Dec 19 and it's been one thing after the other! She was slow to recover, so she went to rehab where she made pretty decent progress; the staff was fantastic, too. And then Mother stopped eating and drinking. The day after Christmas her blood work showed she had lost half her blood volume, so back to the hospital she went. A few blood and iron transfusions made things better and she returned to rehab this past Monday (Dec 29). Tues night (Dec 30) she called me screaming and crying hysterically in pain. I've never heard anything like it, and certainly not from my mother! I had her moved once again to the hospital.

It looks like she's had a bleed into the knee joint. She takes a blood thinner, which probably led to her blood count issues, and they stopped it Sat. It was restarted yesterday morning and by last night she was in extreme pain. There is no infection and no blood clot in the leg. They thought they were going to have to open up the knee and look around, but so far they haven't had to go that route. She's on so much IV Dilaudid that she can't concentrate well and didn't even know her own sister (she does recognize her kids). Mother has stopped eating again and is on complete bed rest now and I expect her to stay most of the rest of the week, after which she will go back to rehab for a couple weeks to regain the ground she has lost this week.

*sigh* I am so worried about Mother. I would consider her current condition would be only fair. This knee surgery was supposed to make everything so much better. Her doctors deemed her a good candidate for surgery, even though she has some chronic health issues (diabetes, a-fib, CHF). I'm the one who encouraged her the most--she was so debilitated with the knee that she could barely even get around her house and she had isolated herself to the point that she didn't see anyone human for days on end. She definitely needed the knee replacement to restore her quality of life.

Well, her quality of life right now is pretty low and I feel terrible about it. She so wanted to be able to camp independently again, but it's looking like that is going to take awhile, if it ever happens.

Thanks for listening. I feel like a big fat crybaby. 😞

[Chock_Full_o__N]

Thanks, Merrykalia. At the meeting the general consensus is that she needs about 2 more weeks. I have seen a huge difference just in the past 3 days. She's walking farther in PT, she's able to do more self-care, and her whole attitude is more positive. She even got here hair washed and cut by the on-site beautician.

[Merrykalia]

That is wonderful news....well, considering what she has gone through, that is wonderful news! Hopefully, they will keep her just as long as possible, then discharge her to in-home PT for six weeks or so.

I know that running someone back and forth to PT every day or every other day can become tiresome, but it is so great to see them getting back some of their movement, although it is very, very slow. I know my DH was so very glad when he finally got his driving privileges back so that he could start becoming independent again.

Please know that my prayers will continue for your mother's healing, as well as her caregivers.

[Chock_Full_o__N]

Mother is doing pretty well, all things considered. She's been at the rehab for about 5 days and is really working her PT. Mother has finally started eating again the last 3 days.

Unfortunately, recovery from patella tendon repair is very long, 12 months or more. She isn't even allowed to bend her knee for 8 weeks. After that, they will slowly start her bending the knee. I think they will start her on knee strengthening exercises, like leg lifts, sometime in April. 😞 It's going to be a loooooong haul.

The social worker has called a pow-wow with Mother, PT, and me on Thurs to discuss discharge planning. I just hope they don't boot her out too soon. They just started letting her walk to the bathroom yesterday, about 10 feet. She participates in PT once a day and walks 20-30 feet in there. Of note--it's 75 heel-toe steps from her door to her bedroom. It's 65 heel-toe steps from her recliner to her bathroom. She is still taking half-steps, so she's got a ways to go here.

[Spleenstomper]

How is your mom doing? I'm sorry to hear she is having a complicated and painful recovery with something that was designed to make her life better.

[emzee]

Oh Chock I am so sorry. You certainly have had your share of problems this past year. I feel so bad for your mum and I will be saying a little prayer that things get better for all of you. What a worry our loved ones are. I am glad they found out what the heck was going on though. I can't imagine how that happened.
Just be there for her and I think she will get through this. Moral support is so important.

[Chock_Full_o__N]

Oh brother. They had to take mother back to surgery this a.m. When they opened the knee up, they found the patella tendon ruptured (this one holds the kneecap in place.) It is an extremely painful injury usually caused by a fall. Mother didn't have any falls, it just cut loose for some reason. Needless to say, this has REALLY set her back. She'll have to keep her knee straight for 8 weeks. Not sure what this means for rehab, but I won't be surprised if she spends another 4-5 weeks in rehab. She can't go home until she can bear considerable weight on it. Her house is NOT handicapped-accessible--with her knee straight, we could not get a wheelchair into her bedroom or her bathroom.

Thankfully, there are 5 of us siblings. We're discussing Plan B now. I'll probably need to take a leave of absence from work if this continues for 2 months. Oh well. It's a privilege to take care of my Mother. Lord knows, she has taken care of me for 58 years.

[coolmom42]

Chock Full o' Nuts wrote:

coolmom42 wrote:
My brother-in-law had the same problem.... he eventually got over it and now his knee is fine. So take heart, she will likely recover just fine.

She was at the point she HAD to do something, it sounds like. So don't feel bad for encouraging her to do it. I wanted my mother to have a replacement too, and her dr. recommended it. She refused to consider it, and wound up in a wheelchair at age 80 because of her knees.

That's where she was headed. They had done absolutely everything non-surgical to help her and nothing was helping. I have to say, Mother is really committed to the PT, despite her pain. She is determined to get over this--we have a big family reunion coming up this summer and she wants to be able to keep up with the kids.

My MIL broke her hip about 6-7 years ago and had it pinned. Went to rehab and refused to participate in PT so they sent her to a nursing home. She said she'd rather be pushed around in a wheelchair. Well, she got her wish. She uses a wheelchair now because she can no longer bear weight on her legs at all. She has some contractures, which are painful. She can't even transfer from bed to chair to toilet. Congratulations, MIL! Why to destroy your life!

Your mom is going to be fine, with that attitude. Attitude is 90% of it, for sure. I know that being able to keep up with my grandkids is one of my big motivators!

[sdianel_-acct_c]

Years ago my mom had bleeding in her hip replacement joint. It was extremely painful. They drained it and eventually it cleared up. Seems like I remember that they replaced the coumadin with heparin shots which seemed to be easier to control how thin her blood was. God Bless her spirit. Prayers she will recover quickly and be dancing at that reunion. I'm sure she doesn't blame you at all.

[rexlion]

Don't blame yourself. We all do our best for our folks and cannot see into the future for every eventuality. Don't judge yourself with hindsight because you could not know it would go this way. Everyone's body is different and will react differently to things. I do hope, and there is yet reason to hope, that she recovers completely from this episode.

[rjf7g]

Chock Full o' Nuts-

You cannot own what is going on with your mother, you can simply do what you can to make it as easy as possible on her. See about helping her with bill paying and simple things like that that can throw a monkey wrench into her life once she is able to enjoy it again if they are not taken care of right now.

My mom (75) had pacemaker surgery in April and they discovered she had low O2. She started Oxygen Therapy in May and went from 6L to 4L with respiratory therapy and medications, but will be at 4L (or more) the rest of her life. We are trying to figure out how to make overnight travel (including camping) as easy as possible given the heavy equipment (she can't possibly lift and Dad hasn't tried to).

My dad (77) had hip replacement surgery in October and has done extremely well. He can now do pretty much anything he wants when he wants to. His biggest challenge is to make sure mom doesn't feel like a "burden" or a "nuisance" (her words) and to help her stay active enough but not too active.

I am hopeful that the doctors will figure out what is going on with your mother and that it is treatable without causing her more surgery and pain. It will be awesome to read your stories about going camping with her as she gets back into the swing of things!

[amandasgramma]

Chock Full o' Nuts wrote:

amandasgramma wrote:
Do NOT take this on yourself. You recommended and encouraged, but the doctors were the ones who did the surgery. Have you required them to bring in a 2nd (or 3rd) opinion? I feel your pain though.....I was "team leader" in putting my mother in an assisted living home....she's gone downhill ever since. I carry that burden but she is safe now. {{{HUGS}}} Keep us posted.....prayers from here......

Mother has been seen by multiple doctors today--her cardiologist, her hematologist, and her surgeon. I feel confident in her treatment team. I think whatever is going on is just an unfortunate side outcome, due to her blood thinner. Not completely unexpected, really. We were just hoping for better than this.

Good...I know that multiple issues cause a tremendous amount of problems......sometimes the cure causes problems. You're in my prayers....and the doctors and your mother, too. 🙂

[mockturtle]

You and your mother are in my prayers. God bless!

[Chock_Full_o__N]

amandasgramma wrote:
Do NOT take this on yourself. You recommended and encouraged, but the doctors were the ones who did the surgery. Have you required them to bring in a 2nd (or 3rd) opinion? I feel your pain though.....I was "team leader" in putting my mother in an assisted living home....she's gone downhill ever since. I carry that burden but she is safe now. {{{HUGS}}} Keep us posted.....prayers from here......

Mother has been seen by multiple doctors today--her cardiologist, her hematologist, and her surgeon. I feel confident in her treatment team. I think whatever is going on is just an unfortunate side outcome, due to her blood thinner. Not completely unexpected, really. We were just hoping for better than this.

[jfkmk]

Chock,
My prayers go out to you and your mom. My dad just turned 80 and my mom is close behind. While they're both very active, this year has not been kind, especially to my dad. It makes us all realize just how temporary we ll are and how precious our time here is. I think it's incredible your mom still tows her little camper around! Show her you're there for her and give her your full support!